Of Sonic, Subtlety and Sheer Stupidity
by XxFearTheFluffxX
Summary: The Chaotix detectives are on to a new case, and it's like nothing they've ever faced before. Vector finds out he isn't as smooth as he thought he was, while Espio discovers he's EXACTLY as smooth as he thought he was. On another, not altogether unrelated topic, Charmy wants to know where baby hedgehogs come from... And all the while Sonic has no idea what's going on.
1. Chapter 1

It was raining in Station Square that day. Fat, heavy drops fell from a sky dark as coal, sliding down the window of the Chaotix Detective Agency's main (and _only_) office in uneven lines. It was dismal weather for detective work, which was why the infamous trio weren't doing any when the stranger clad in the brown raincoat walked in off the street that quiet afternoon.

Vector and Charmy had been immersed in a game of poker when the bell above the front door dinged, signalling their guest's arrival. Vector had in fact been mid-curse, having once again lost to the hyperactive bumblebee (despite said bee's insistence that he hadn't a clue how to play poker in the first place).

Espio, on the other hand, had been diligently practising his camouflage technique. Not because he particularly _needed _the practise, but rather because he'd needed an excuse to avoid joining in his comrades' game. Though skilled at many things, Espio had long since been forced to concede that the art of poker thoroughly eluded him.

That, and his wallet still hadn't recovered from his last gambling foray... But he didn't like to talk about that. What happens in Casino Park, _stays_ in Casino Park.

The sodden stranger – for none of the three recognised their visitor at first, thanks to the deep hood which concealed most of the person's face – strolled slowly and casually around the room, admiring the sparse artwork on the walls and deliberately ignoring the detectives' curious stares.

Eventually, after a unnecessarily prolonged circuit of the small office, she (and she was most assuredly female, judging by her – ahem – _attributes_) approached Vector's desk, and sat confidently in the chair usually reserved for Vector himself.

"Gentlemen," she said softly at last, nodding to each of them in turn.

Vector and Charmy, who'd been playing at the cheap, plastic table in the corner – what passed for a dining room in their apartment-come-office – stood as one. The crocodile looked vaguely annoyed, but when he spoke his tone was courteous, if a little uncertain.

"Can we help you, Miss?"

"Yeah," Charmy chimed in, flying over and cocking his head inquiringly. "Are ya lost or somethin'?"

For his part, Espio observed silently

"I'm here to offer you work," the girl said matter-of-factly. "I heard you'll do anything that pays – am I right?"

Espio frowned. He hated it when prospective clients regurgitated that particular line_. _'Anything' was subjective – the CDA were a respectable organisation, for the most part, and there _were_ conditions... But most most people – for whatever reason – conveniently forgot that part. Vector included sometimes, much to Espio's continued dismay, especially in cases where particularly large quantities of money were involved.

"We'll consider _almost _any job that pays," Vector corrected, as though he'd heard the chameleon's thoughts. "We don't do anythin' illegal."

"It's not illegal," the girl said mildly. "Morally grey, _maybe_... but definitely not illegal."

Vector opened his mouth to reply, somewhat pacified, when something in Espio's mind clicked.

"Amy." His voice made everyone in the room jump; he might have taken offence, had he not already known that was the effect he tended to have on people. "Amy Rose," he clarified, low tone indifferent. "I knew I recognised you. Why the disguise?"

Amy – and now that they were paying attention, both Vector and Charmy realised, with a start, that it was indeed none other than she – fidgeted awkwardly in Vector's chair, all pretence of control fleeing now that she'd been identified. She looked away quickly, avoiding eye contact, and stammered out a less than convincing objection.

"A-ah... you must have, u-um, mistaken me for... for someone else..."

Espio, however, was quite sure this wasn't the case. "There's no mistake," he said simply.

"Amy!" Charmy exclaimed, buzzing around in an excited circle before plopping himself on Vector's desk. He leaned forward, peering inquisitively into the shadows of her hood even as she leaned away. "It _is_ you!" he cried after several seconds, utterly delighted – whether with his own investigative prowess or with the unexpected pleasure of Amy's visit was anyone's guess. "Whatcha doin' here? And what's with that crazy getup?"

Amy turned her head firmly away and crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "That's _not_ my name," she insisted huffily, to which the three Chaotix members raised their eyebrows in unison, sharing a glance. "Now, do you want my business or not?!"

"That depends," Vector drawled, smoothly glossing over the hedgehog's peculiar behaviour. There wasn't much he _wouldn't_ ignore in favour of a decent pay packet. "What d'ya want us to do, and how much is it worth?"

Amy wasted no time, apparently as happy as Vector to let the matter drop.

"The details are in here." She reached into the left-hand pocket of her raincoat and pulled out an envelope – brown, A4 in size, carefully sealed and left unmarked. "As for payment-," she produced a pouch from her other pocket and threw it on the table with a heavy 'ting', "consider that a down payment. There's more where that came from if you do a good job."

Espio didn't have to look to know Vector was completely sold – the purse had sounded heavy, and such handsome compensation was a temptation he knew his fellow detective was unlikely to refuse. As usual, it would fall to _him_ to be the voice of reason. And there was something Amy had said that gave him the most peculiar sensation of unease, deep in the pit of his stomach...

"You said 'morally grey'," he pointed out, addressing Amy and drawing everyone's attention once more. By the startled looks they sent him, he suspected they'd forgotten he was there. Again, something he was used to. "What does that mean, precisely?"

"It's all in there," Amy dismissed with a wave of her hand, a little too nonchalant for comfort. "You'll see what I mean when you open it."

Alarm bells rang in Espio's skull. Something definitely wasn't right. Illegal dealings weren't the _only_ kind of distasteful work out there, and he would know – he was a ninja, after all. His intuition was screaming at him, telling him not to get involved in whatever scheme Amy had cooked up.

But before he could fashion his thoughts into words, Vector scooped up the bag and weighed it in his hand. He nodded once, thoughtfully, as though considering her offer, but Espio knew from past experience that it was just for show – the choice was made.

"All right, Am- er, I mean Miss," Vector said at length, crossing his arms over his large chest and puffing himself up importantly. Apparently, they were going to play along with her ridiculous disguise. "We'll take the job. Is there anythin' else we should know before we get started?"

Amy hesitated – an action that didn't ease Espio's anxieties one bit. Generally, if the client had to think twice about their request, it wasn't a good sign.

"No," she said at last, and the uncertainty in her voice made Espio's toes curl. "No, just follow the instructions and everything should be fine."

With that, she stood and waltzed past the trio, pausing at the door to glance at them over her shoulder. What her thoughts were at that moment, none could say. She may have been reconsidering, or she might just have been bidding them farewell. With her face so masked in shadow, even Espio couldn't tell. Then, with a sweep of her long raincoat, she left the Agency and disappeared into the sodden streets outside.

"This is a bad idea," Espio murmured immediately, frowning after the strange pink hedgehog. "I have a feeling in my gut..." He trailed off. He knew what Vector thought of hunches, and if he was going to convince him to drop this assignment – the chances of which were slim at best – it wasn't going to be done using 'instinct' for a defence. "We are going to regret getting involved in this," he said instead.

Vector dropped into his chair, the chair Amy had previously occupied, and scratched the underside of his snout with a hum.

"How d'ya figure?"

Espio's stomach clenched – he did not sound convinced.

"We all know that was Amy Rose," he began, folding his arms and leaning against the wall. "For some reason, she doesn't want anyone to know she was here – even us. That doesn't strike you as suspicious?"

The leader of the Chaotix shrugged. "She was always a weird kid."

Well, there was no arguing with that... Still, Vector was completely missing the point.

"True. But-,"

"Enough arguments, Espio," the croc interrupted, waving off his objections. "I get it – the case reeks of bad news."

"Then _why_ are you taking it on?" Espio asked, trying to keep the frustration from his voice.

"Money!" Charmy cut in cheerfully.

Vector nodded in agreement. "Money," he said decisively. "We could use the cash, Espio."

"We don't need it," the chameleon muttered stubbornly.

While it was true the Agency didn't exactly rake in the gold, they _were_ making the rent each month. There was plenty to eat from day to day, and they never had to do without the essentials, not even in their tightest spells. Perhaps it was a sparse life, but it was comfortable enough – they could manage perfectly well without Amy's patronage.

"I didn't say we _needed _it. I said we could _use_ it." Vector opened the bag and started counting out rings as he spoke. "Y'know, for repairs and stuff."

Espio faltered. _That crack in the bathroom wall __**has**__ been there for some time now..._

He mentally shook himself. Repairs could wait! His gut instinct was telling him not to take this job, and his gut was rarely wrong. He doubted it was anything illegal, or particularly dangerous – this _was_ Amy Rose they were talking about after all, and for as peculiar as she was, she was a good kid at heart. All the same...

'Morally grey'... Espio did not like the sound of that.

But it would appear Vector's mind was made up, and Espio knew better than to argue. He might as well give up now and save himself the energy – he'd probably need all his stamina for damage control anyway.

"I want it noted that I was against this from the start," he said eventually, defeated.

"Duly noted." Vector didn't even glance at him. He suspected 'noted' was the only word his colleague had even heard.

_Why do I bother?_

Several minutes passed in relative peace, with the only sounds being the buzzing of Charmy's wings and the 'ting, ting, ting' as Vector counted Amy's deposit.

"Are you going to read Amy's missive?" he asked at last, striving with every ounce of discipline he possessed to remain calm. "If you insist on playing along with this farce, shouldn't you at least find out what she wants from us?"

"Oh. Heh, yeah, that..." Vector chuckled, picking up the envelope that had, until now, been left forgotten beside the bag of rings.

He tore it open and read through the (_pink_...) contents quickly, eyes scanning the page several times, taking a great deal more time than was really justified for the scant half-filled sheet.

Espio had to admit, he felt a particular kind of satisfaction as he watched the crocodile's face turn a shade of green it had hitherto never achieved before.

"What's it say?" Charmy demanded, trying to read over Vector's broad shoulder.

Vector didn't say anything. Instead, he handed the letter to Espio wordlessly, who read the girlish script just once before handing it back.

"I warned you," was all he said. "I told you I had a bad feeling about this job."


	2. Chapter 2

The mission was simple enough – on that, the three Chaotix detectives could agree. They'd taken far more challenging jobs before; more dangerous ones too. In fact, this was probably – objectively speaking, of course – the single _easiest_ task the trio had ever been faced with.

And simultaneously, the hardest.

Amy had outlined her wishes in three short paragraphs, all written on one side of (_pink!_) A4 paper. Her briefing read as follows:

_Dear Team Chaotix,_

_I'll keep this short and to the point. Your target is Sonic the Hedgehog. Your goal – open him to the idea of having a girlfriend (specifically, Amy Rose, who I think you'll all agree is a kind, beautiful, intelligent girl, and the only candidate worthy of Sonic's affections)._

"Does she really think we don't know it's her?" Charmy had asked, confused, when he eventually got a hold of the letter.

_I suggest you talk to him about the future; convince him that he should settle down, take a wife (that wife being Amy, of course), and have lots of-,_

"'Little hedgehog babies'?" Espio cringed. That phrase was just plain _wrong. _It disturbed him on so many levels, he didn't even know where to start... Or indeed, whether he wanted to start at all.

_I've included a deposit of 300 rings, and depending on the quality of your work, there'll be a lot more where that came from. I'm willing to negotiate your fee when the job is done._

_Yours,_

_?_

"Well," Vector said at last, after all three of them had had a chance to read and properly absorb the details of Amy's letter. "It _is_ a good price... considering what she's askin' for..."

Espio did not agree. In his opinion, no price was worth what Amy was asking for. Sonic was _fifteen_. Worse, Amy herself was just twelve! Not to even mention the fact that they were talking about deliberate manipulation here, and with a friend and ally no less! 'Morally grey'... that wasn't the half of it!

They both argued their respective points late into the night, while Charmy pottered about in the kitchenette, eating steadily through their supply of honey-glazed cereal puffs. Naturally, being that he was the oldest, and by extension the wisest, and given that he was the closest thing to a leader their little organisation had, Vector eventually – _inevitably_ – won.

"Don't think of it as 'manipulation'," he said when Espio finally gave in. "Think of it as helping out a friend."

Though he said it with all the necessary conviction, Vector thought the victory felt hollow. Somewhere in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder if Espio was right...

"Helping a friend," Espio murmured in disgust, "by fashioning a noose for another."

"Hey now!" Vector objected, feeling – as he often did – obligated to defend their client. "That was uncalled for. Amy ain't..."

He paused as Espio raised a skeptical eyebrow. He'd been about to say she wasn't _that_ bad, and maybe – for the most part – that was true. But they all knew she was bossy and emotional and _clingy, _and to someone like Sonic, who loved his freedom above all else... Well, Amy wouldn't be so much a noose as a medieval torture wrack.

"She's a – a good kid, y'know? Sonic could do a lot worse," he finished at last.

"The key word being 'kid'. She is little more than a child, Vector. The same goes for Sonic."

"Hmm." Charmy buzzed over from the kitchenette, having thoroughly demolished their stock of cereal. He looked sleepy, his stomach slightly distended to accommodate what was supposed to have been a month's worth of breakfasts for the three of them. "I thought you were only a year older than Sonic?" he yawned, directing his question at the chameleon.

"A year and three months," Espio said stiffly, crossing his arms and casting a brief, disapproving glance at the empty cereal boxes left lying on their plastic dining table. "Physically," he added. "Mentally, I am twice Sonic's age."

"How'd ya figure?" the bee asked, his drowsy tone suggesting he didn't _really_ care all that much.

"He's reckless," Espio answered anyway, hoping against hope than one if his cohorts would _listen _to him for a change. "Impulsive, _immature_... No one can fault his bravery, but equally, no one can deny his carelessness either. Is it really wise to encourage someone like that to start a family?" He turned back to Vector, making one last appeal. "Can you honestly imagine _Sonic _raising children?"

The crocodile appeared to think about it for a while. When he next spoke, he sounded weary.

"No," he said honestly. "But we've already been paid... And besides, it's not our job to imagine stuff."

Espio was tempted to point out it wasn't usually their job to play matchmaker either, but decided it would serve him no purpose. Vector had made the decision, and the best course of action would be to brace himself and get on with it.

No more was said on the matter, and with the first tinges of pink beginning to light the sky outside, the trio of detectives hit the hay.

-X-

It was agreed over a breakfast of slightly less than fresh lettuce leaves the following afternoon, that the mission really only needed _one_ of them. This was, in part, due to the fact that not-quite-rotten lettuce was pretty much the only edible thing they had left in the apartment – something they mutually acknowledged had to be remedied at the earliest opportunity.

Mostly, however, it was because there was no danger involved, and no need for any of their specialist talents either. It should be, Vector pointed out (somewhat optimistically, in Espio's opinion), a very cut and dry kind of mission.

It was also agreed that Vector himself was the best candidate for the task Amy had set them. This was for a variety of reasons, not least of which – in Espio's view in any case – was because it had been _his_ idea to accept the mission in the first place.

"No big," the croc had said confidently, as he prepared to leave the office/apartment. "This calls for a serious talk, mano e mano. I'll dig a little, see what his preferences are, and then gently shove him in Amy's direction. Piece of cake!"

As it turned out, it was actually less a piece of cake and more a slab of concrete on the difficulty scale. Even just finding the hedgehog had been a task of itself, and it took Vector the better part of the afternoon to eventually locate the blue streak at a hot dog stand in Westopolis. It occurred to the him then that, given Sonic's well-documented love of chilli dogs, the hot dog joints should have been his first port of call...

"Yo! Sonic!" he yelled, waving in what he _thought_ was a cool, casual manner, but actually came across as slightly crazed. "Wait up, kid!"

Sonic, who was just accepting his forth chilli dog of the evening from the vendor, turned a bewildered green gaze on him. Vector could pinpoint the exact moment the hedgehog placed his face, and was more than a little worried to note that it took a good deal longer than it ought to have done. True, the two of them hadn't had many dealings in the past, but if there was one thing in his life Vector was certain of, it was his own recognisability.

Suddenly, Espio's final plea came back to him with chilling clarity.

"_Can you honestly imagine **Sonic**__raising children?"_

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Hey there, uh... Hector," Sonic greeted, swallowing down the link in two swift bites. "What's shakin'?"

"That's _Vector_," Vector corrected. Something unpleasant fluttered at the back of the detective's mind – a kind of anxiety, almost a sense of foreboding... He hoped it wasn't an indicator of how the rest of this mission was going to go. "I was just in the neighbourhood-," which was an outright lie; he'd had to catch two trains and endure a very busy, very _uncomfortable_ bus journey to get there. "-an' I saw you and thought we could, y'know, sit and catch up some."

If anything, Sonic just looked even more confused.

"Uh, sure... I guess." He scratched his head, and followed Vector to one of the empty al fresco tables near the hot dog stand.

Thanks to all the time he'd wasted hunting for the elusive hero, it was getting pretty late. Vector knew he'd have to wrap the job up fairly quickly if he hoped to make the journey back before the buses stopped. But as he sat there, facing Sonic – who looked vaguely bemused – he belatedly realised he hadn't thought of _anything_ to say. Where did he even start? How could he steer the conversation in the desired direction without being obvious about it?

Like so many things in life, Vector decided to take his own, special approach to the situation – which is to say 'dive right in and hope for the best'.

"_So_... Sonic."

Sonic waited expectantly for him to continue.

He noticed the blue blur's eyes occasionally wandering to the hot dog guy, who'd started putting on a fresh batch of sausages that even Vector had to admit smelled mouthwatering. He wasn't usually much of one for hot dogs (slathered in chilli or otherwise), but when all you'd had to eat that day was a bowl of questionable lettuce, it was amazing how your outlook could change.

Wrenching his mind back to the present, Vector cleared his throat.

"How's life treatin' ya?" he asked, trying to sound casual. "Been up to much?"

"Aw, this and that," Sonic said vaguely, shrugging. "The usual. What about you?"

"Oh yeah, just fine, just fine..." There was an awkward pause. "So... Meet many girls on your travels?"

It wasn't exactly subtle, but then it didn't really matter. Far from being even remotely suspicious, the look Sonic levelled him managed to appear _even more_ perplexed. Vector wondered if it was because he simply wasn't a suspicious person, or if it was just because he was completely oblivious when it came to such topics.

_Probably both..._

"A few," he admitted, frowning. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, then closed it again, apparently finding nothing worth adding.

Another tense silence ensued.

This wasn't turning out to be half as easy as Vector had thought it would be. He liked to think that, of all the Chaotix detectives, he was the smooth one – conversation was normally one of his stronger suits, _especially_ when it came to women. He didn't know why, but for some reason talking to _Sonic_ about this particular subject felt... wrong. Kinda like that time he'd had to explain the birds and the bees to Charmy...

"Anyone take your fancy?" he tried again, making a concentrated effort to sound conspiratorial. When Sonic didn't answer – probably too busy trying to figure out the crocodile's angle – Vector gave him a nudge, and winked. "C'mon, kid, you can tell me – what kinda gal lights your bulb?"

"Lights my... bulb?"

"Yeah! You know!" Vector cried, starting to settle into his groove – even though he felt a tiny bit like a dirty old man for doing so. "Sparks your plugs; runs your motor; powers your pedals?"

Realisation crossed the blue hedgehog's features, and Vector silently cheered. _Now_ they were getting somewhere!

"Er... Well, none of them, I guess," Sonic laughed, all traces of awkwardness gone now that they were on the same page. He folded his arms behind his head – which was quite a feat, considering the spines – and propped his legs on the table.

Vector frowned. "_None_ of them?" he repeated, not quite believing his ears. Surely even Sonic wasn't _that_ oblivious – hadn't he ever had a crush? "Ya mean, not ever?"

"Nope," Sonic grinned.

Well... _That _was interesting.

"Huh. Well, what about Amy?"

To Vector's dismay, Sonic wrinkled his nose. Not quite in disgust – which left Vector with some hope that this mission wasn't a total lost cause – but with a marked lack of enthusiasm that was, to say the least, disheartening.

"What's wrong with Amy?" he dared to ask.

"N-nothing!" Sonic exclaimed, panic-stricken, looking around hastily as though he expected her to pounce from the topiaries any second. When the pink hedgehog didn't appear, he relaxed again and adopted a calmer, though still somewhat edgy tone. "Nothing's wrong with Amy, it's just..." He hesitated. "I dunno. She's good at whacking things with that mallet of hers, but..."

"I hear ya." Vector understood perfectly. She _was_ good at whacking things with her mallet, but Sonic had no desire – and really, he himself could only sympathise – to ever be on it's receiving end. Somehow, being in a relationship with her only heightened that danger, though Vector couldn't honestly say why he thought so...

"Yeah. I think if I ever let her anywhere near my motor... well, she'd probably break it."

At this the blue blur sounded indignant, which was – Vector thought – an odd stance to take on the matter. He supposed it was a testament to Sonic's reckless streak that, where others might be afraid, or at least anxious, he managed to sound almost amused.

As for himself, he felt mildly horrified. Both at the frighteningly graphic mental image Sonic's words had conjured (which he promptly swore to himself never to speak of), and also at the kid's skilled – and totally unexpected – use of innuendo. True, it wasn't the dirtiest reference he'd ever heard spoken, but coming from Sonic the Hedgehog it sounded positively filthy.

He had a point though; Amy was the very epiphany of (for want of a better word) a '_ball-breaker_'. She seemed like the kind of girl who liked to keep her men firmly under the thumb, and since Sonic was the only man she'd ever wanted...

_I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the guy_...

Reminding himself that he was there for a reason, Vector carefully cleared his throat.

"I dunno, Sonic. I reckon if you gave her a chance she could prove you wrong," he said with what he hoped was cool indifference.

"Ya think?" He didn't sound convinced.

"Sure! Amy's really a great gal underneath all that... uh..."

"Crazy?" Sonic supplied, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Yeah, but don't you ever tell her I said that," Vector muttered, eyes darting as though he too expected a surprise attack.

"Hey, I won't if you won't." It should have been a joke, but they were both quite serious. "Well, maybe you're right... I should ask her, next time I see her. Not that it really matters..."

"It does matter," Vector said sagely, already imagining the look on Espio's face when he told him the mission was a complete success. "This is a big part of your future, kid. Ya gotta make the right decision straight off the bat."

Sonic frowned, crossing his arms and looking to the side distractedly. "Maybe for some people, but not me," he insisted. He looked up again and grinned. "Personally, I prefer to use my feet!"

"Yeah, I felt the same at your age, but..." The croc paused as Sonic's words registered in his brain under the category 'nonsensical'. "Did... you say y-you prefer to... to use your... feet?" he asked, struggling to find the words. Surely he'd misheard, because considering what they were taking about, that made not one lick of sense.

The blue blur shrugged. "I'm faster than _any_ motor out there. Even if I got one, Tails would probably be my go to for... Uh, you okay?"

Vector could scarcely credit it. All this time he thought they were talking about... and _Sonic_ had thought...

He lifted his head from his hands, where he'd dropped it in disbelief, and tried to work out whether it was worth it to try steering the conversation in the right direction again (if it had ever been going in the right direction to begin with).

Sonic waited patiently, green eyes wide with a mixture of amusement and concern.

Maybe it was the too innocent quality of the hedgehog's gaze, or maybe it was just the darkening sky coupled with the knowledge that it was a _long_ journey back home (for those who couldn't run at speeds topping seven hundred miles an hour). Either way, Vector decided that no, he didn't want to press further. He had a niggling suspicion doing so wouldn't yield favourable results anyway.

"I'm fine, kid," he said weakly, ignoring the dubious expression Sonic greeted this with. "Just _peachy_. Y,know, I think Espio wanted to catch up with ya too – stop by some time, yeah?"

With that, Vector heaved himself to his feet and started toward the bus station, silently marvelling at how the teen – in spite of everything he'd accomplished in his young life – could _still_ be so naïve.

Behind him, Sonic shrugged with a nonchalant smile and went to get one last chilli dog before the stand shut for the night. If he found anything odd about the encounter, he certainly didn't show it, and by the time the chilli had cooled on his tongue the event was all but forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

Though he was dead set against the mission – even more so, now that they knew what they were up against – Espio didn't put up _too_ much of a fight when Vector handed him the metaphorical reigns later that night. If anyone had asked (and no one _dared_) the chameleon would have blamed his sense of camaraderie for this. The Chaotix Detective Agency were a _team_; personal feelings aside, if they took a mission they took it together.

...

Then, of course, there was the fact that he'd already taken the liberty of hiring someone to fix the crack in their bathroom wall. It had been far too tempting an opportunity to pass up – how was _he _to have known that Vector would fail? By all accounts, despite his misgivings about the job in general, Espio had been confident in the crocodile's success.

Alas, success was not to be had, and that was why the ninja found himself in the middle of Mystic Ruin the very next morning, at an hour his fellow detectives had rarely seen.

Fortunately, the recipient of his visit liked to rise early as well – something Espio had known – and was already in his workshop tinkering away when the chameleon knocked.

"I'm coming!" came the cheerful, but undeniably puzzled reply. There was the sound of various scufflings, followed by an ominous, metallic scrape, before the door swung open at last to reveal a scruffy, slightly oil-stained fox child. "Oh! Um... h-hi, Espio. What- er... What's up?"

Not one to mince words, Espio got straight to the point. "I'm looking for Sonic. Is he here?"

Tails hesitated. Espio could practically _hear_ the cogs turning in his furry skull. "Er... He's not in any trouble, is he?" the kit asked warily. It was probably safe to assume that, had that been the case, Espio could have expected no assistance from him whatsoever.

"No." _Not yet anyway. _"I just want to discuss something with him."

The change in the child's posture was marked. The muscles in his small shoulders relaxed, his expression softening into something more friendly, and Espio belatedly realised that – had he expressed any sinister designs on Sonic's welfare – he'd have met with fierce opposition in the young engineer.

He wondered if Tails would've attacked him in that situation, and was largely unsettled by the conclusions he drew.

"He left a little while ago," Tails said, smiling apologetically. "He crashed here last night, but you know Sonic – he was up at the crack of dawn and raring to go. He might not be back for _weeks_..."

Espio had feared as much.

"Do you know where he might go?"

"Hm." Tails thought for a moment, cupping his chin in the oil-blackened fingers of his right hand. "Y'know, I think he said something about taking a run in the Green Hill area today. If you leave now, you might still catch him before he heads elsewhere."

Though he'd obviously meant the information to be encouraging, something in the fox's tone suggested he very much doubted there was any chance of that.

Espio sighed. The day was still young and already he felt a headache coming on.

"Thank you," he nodded to Tails. "I will go there immediately."

_Though I do not hold high hopes of a fruitful search._

-X-

Contrary to Espio's expectations, finding Sonic in the Green Hill vicinity turned out to be much easier than anticipated.

Admittedly, he'd already been walking for several hours before he – quite literally – bumped into the speedster, but even that was a stroke of luck the chameleon hadn't dared expect. He was just grateful it had only been a few hours, and not a few days or weeks.

Spinning unsteadily on the spot as he was caught up in the hedgehog's slipstream, Espio dizzily called out, praying the words would reach Sonic before he sped out of range.

"S-Sonic! Wait!"

In another stroke of unusual luck, Sonic heard him. The words had barely left his lips before the hotshot hog – who'd travelled a respectable distance in the seconds since passing him – was back again, smiling curiously.

"Espio!" he grinned, slapping the disoriented detective's shoulder and hurling him – once again – off balance.

All sense of equilibrium lost, Espio tripped over a half-buried wedge of rock and landed painfully on his backside. Lacking the will (or the balance) necessary to return to his feet, he simply gazed up at Sonic from his lower vantage point with half a mind to vomit on the speed demon's shiny red shoes.

"You okay, Es?"Sonic asked, offering a helping hand.

Espio accepted the proffered hand and allowed himself to be tugged to his feet. He brushed himself down, keeping a wary eye on his companion, and quietly wondered – now that he'd caught the teen – what, exactly, he should say. Thanks to Vector's recount of their conversation the previous afternoon, he knew subtlety wouldn't work...

He supposed he would have to be direct.

"Just fine," he said, doing his best to sound cheerful, or at least courteous. He didn't think it worked. "And yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm cool. Can't complain." This was accompanied by a trademark thumbs up, which Espio absently returned, instantly feeling foolish for doing so.

"Sonic, I need to speak with you..." he began, then abruptly broke off when the hedgehog in question shot him an almost worried look.

"This isn't about my motor again, is it?" Sonic asked warily, putting his hands on his hips.

"Ah... no...?" There'd been no mention of _motors_ in Vector's report... All the croc had said was that he'd tried to be discreet and it had failed miserably.

He made a mental note to ask about this later, though he had a feeling he didn't want to know.

"Well then, fire away!"

"V-very well." Espio coughed to cover his surprise and embarrassment; he hadn't expected Sonic to be so… cheerful_._ The naivete was rolling off him in _waves_.

_Most disconcerting..._

"I would like to discuss certain matters pertaining to the future," he stated, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

"Uh... Okay." Sonic didn't sound particularly enthused by this, which came as no surprise given that – to the best of Espio's knowledge – he generally only operated on one time frame; that being the present, right down to the second.

But he at least appeared willing to listen, and that was enough.

Espio hesitated. He wasn't too proud to admit that conversation wasn't one of his more practised skills. He was well aware he wasn't _nearly_ as smooth with his speech as he was with his more physical abilities, and, as a result, he was a naturally poor choice for this type of mission...

But he'd made a commitment. He had an obligation to his comrades to follow through.

So he would.

"The first thing I'd like to know," he said haltingly, choosing each word with care. "is how you feel about the future. Do you... have any plans?"

Sonic was shaking his head before Espio had even finished.

"Nah, I don't make plans. I'm more of a 'wing it' kinda guy, y'know?"

_Actually, I **do**_...

Sonic's 'wing it' qualities had seen the world come perilously close to the edge of no return at times. There was no denying the teen's various strengths and indomitable courage were an asset in battle, but Espio wondered how many disasters could have been averted completely if only he'd employed a little more forethought.

"You mean you have no idea whatsoever? Nothing you would like to work toward?"

"Nope," he grinned, winking. "All I need is the ground under my feet and the wind in my quills. Everything else-," Sonic shrugged. "- can figure itself out."

"But Sonic, don't you want to settle down some day?" Even to Espio's own ears, the words sounded stiff and uncomfortable. He couldn't _believe _he'd agreed to this; it felt like trying to bleed a stone. "Find a wife?" he ploughed on. "Have..." _No. Not for all the money in the world. _ "Start a family?"

If the blue blur was confused by this line of questioning, he did an expert job at hiding it. Arms crossed, he seemed to actually think it over for a second, gaze wandering around the glade aimlessly. Unless Espio was much mistaken – and he rarely was – there was the tiniest glint of mischief in the hedgehog's eyes when he looked up again.

"Dunno. Guess I've never thought about it." He uncrossed his arms and started stretching out his legs, clearly eager to be on his way again. "You're not offering, are ya?" he joked, grinning as he pulled his foot up behind him. "'Cause I gotta tell ya, you're not really my type."

_Will this nightmare never cease?_

"Be serious, Sonic," Espio sighed, pinching the area above his horn.

"Mm... Well I guess I might, someday," he mused, jumping lightly from side to side. Espio wondered if he even realised he was doing it – from the vague look on his face, he thought not. "But I'm only fifteen, so-," Sonic shrugged. "-plenty of time to think about it, right?"

Espio secretly agreed, wholeheartedly. In all honesty, the very _idea_ of Sonic raising children as he was now was just too terrifying for words... True, no one could deny that his heart was in the right place, and even _Espio_ couldn't fault his heroism (though his reckless methods left something to be desired). But rearing young required certain talents the young hog wasn't possessed of.

_Patience for one, _his inner voice remarked, as he watched Sonic's restless display.

Unfortunately, saying so went directly against his mission directive. He was supposed to open Sonic to the idea of taking a mate, not reinforce his reluctance – regardless how wise he himself thought it might be.

"No time like the present, some would say," he muttered, trying to sound light and failing utterly. "You live a dangerous life – it might be wise to take some precautions..."

An uncomfortable look came over Sonic's face. "Uh, this isn't one of _those_ talks, is it? 'Cause if it is, believe me, I _totally_ got it covered."

Confused, Espio tried to puzzle out his meaning. It took mere seconds, and when the penny dropped it took a further span of seconds to successfully eradicate the mental image of giving Sonic a pep-talk on _protection_.

"I meant in terms of leaving an heir!" Espio exploded, momentarily losing his cool, horrified at the direction of his companion's thoughts. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back – that sounded even worse than the pep-talk would have been. At least the pep-talk would have sounded _responsible_.

To his credit, and Espio's disbelief, Sonic didn't immediately take off at high speed. On the other hand, he didn't say anything either, just stared at the chameleon with a blankness that would have been comical in other circumstances.

_I think it is time to cut my losses._

"I should be returning," he muttered, avoiding eye contact. "Farewell."

And for the second time in as many days, Sonic was left scratching his head in confusion as a member of the Chaotix beat a hasty retreat.

-X-

**I'm going to be completely honest and say that this is my favourite chapter of this story. It was the most fun to write and gave me the least hassle in terms of editing. It was actually the starting point of the whole story – when I originally started writing it, it was only going to be a oneshot. But of course, as ideas sometimes like to do, it grew.**

**Anyway, guys, that's us half-way in this story. There are only two chapters left, and I think the next one is the biggest. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, favourited or followed so far – what's a writer without her readers, eh?**


	4. Chapter 4

"C'mon Vector, let me have a go! _Pleeeaase_!"

Espio cringed at the high-pitched plea. It was the thirtieth time he'd heard it in the span of an hour, and to say it was grating on his last nerve would be an understatement.

When he'd returned to the Agency after the horror that had been his meeting with Sonic, it had been mid-afternoon. Since then, he'd spent the majority of the day trying to fully recount his failure. It wouldn't have taken so long, only every time he started the cursed tale he found himself choking on humiliation and unable to finish. When he'd eventually gotten the story out, Vector and Charmy had furthered his shame by spending a solid half hour crippled with laughter. Now – going into the latter hours of the evening – Charmy had decided _he_ was the best bee for the job, and had been badgering the croc about something to that effect ever since.

"I can do it, Vector, I really can!" Charmy insisted. "I can get Sonic to like Amy!"

Honestly, Espio didn't know why Vector was so resistant to the idea anyway. It wasn't as if he was eager for round two, and Espio himself had stated – in no uncertain terms – that he would be avoiding Sonic like the plague for at least the next century.

And who knew, maybe Charmy would succeed where they had failed. Stranger things had happened – that very day, as luck would have it.

"Charmy! This ain't no mission for a little squirt like you! Quit buggin' me, will ya?" Vector growled, not even turning as he addressed the kid. He was in the kitchenette, busying himself at the stove, stirring a pot of something that smelled suspiciously like his home-made Bayou Bonanza Gumbo – a gloopy stew that was highly inedible to anyone with taste buds.

Espio, for one, was ordering take out.

"But I can do it! I really can!" Charmy wheedled, moving in front of Vector's face. "Let me try! _Please!_"

"This isn't a game, Charmy," Espio interrupted, scanning the Chaotix's extensive array of takeaway menus.

"He's right," Vector said, sounding victorious. "This here's a delicate operation, and not somethin' a kid should be involved in."

Espio frowned. He hadn't quite said _that_... He'd only meant that it was – in spite of everything – a mission, and should therefore be regarded as such. Even if the whole concept _was_ a joke...

"Why not?" the bee huffed, kicking his foot in mid-air. "I'd do a better job than you two pickleheads..."

"Well, it would be hard to do a worse one," Espio muttered, feeling another stab of horror as the memory flashed across his mind once more.

He shuddered; he would never look Sonic in the eye again...

Let him try, Vector," he said aloud, raising his voice to be heard over the fighting. Absently selecting a menu from the pile, he wandered to the phone on Vector's desk, leafing through through it's contents as he went. "Unless you feel like braving another attempt yourself...?"

The pause that met this suggestion spoke volumes.

After several seconds of tense silence, Vector finally grunted something that was halfway between defeat and derision.

Apparently taking this as permission, Charmy let out a whoop of joy and did a quick circuit of the room, talking excitedly about what he was going to do and how it was _definitely _going to work.

Despite his enthusiasm, Espio sincerely doubted his young colleague would be met with much more success than either he or Vector had enjoyed. At this point, it had been proven that Sonic was, in some respects, one of the dimmest creatures on the planet. Logically, where Espio's intellect and Vector's cunning had both failed, Charmy's... whatever it could be called, didn't stand a chance.

However for obvious reasons, Espio wanted Charmy to be successful. He wanted it like he'd never wanted anything else in his whole life.

-X-

Unlike his elder counterparts, Charmy actually had a rather easy time of it, finding the blue blur. It hadn't taken much effort at all; in fact if anything, _Sonic_ had found _him_.

He didn't even leave the office until midday (and even then, only at Vector's irritated prompting), but by a quarter to one he'd not only located Sonic, but had wrangled himself an invitation to lunch with the hedgehog too. Considering his method of search had been something akin to 'fly around aimlessly and hope for the best', it would be fair to say that his luck on that score was – quite literally – _unbelievable_.

In a twist of fate that Espio would later describe as 'nothing short of miraculous', almost immediately after leaving the Agency, Charmy had spotted an airship in the sky. Being naturally curious, he'd decided to investigate and had boarded the contraption with ease through one of the laser-cannon ports. It hadn't taken him long to discover that he had, in fact, boarded one of Eggman's air fortresses, of which the good Doctor seemed to have an endless supply.

Fortunately Sonic was there too, and had already done what he did best to mosey the madman along. The engine room was destroyed, and Sonic had been clocking out when he ran straight into the bee at hyper speed, knocking him down the length of the fortress and into unconsciousness.

Guilt-ridden, he'd carried Charmy to safety. And the rest – as they say – was history.

"So Sonic, what was Eggman up to anyway?" Charmy asked over a heaped plate of pancakes and syrup.

He glanced at the kid over his glass of orange juice and shrugged.

"Same as always, I guess," he drawled. "World domination, my annihilation, all that stuff."

"Don't ya ever ask him?" Charmy wondered, gazing at him curiously. "Maybe he was just goin' for a drive?"

Sonic raised a skeptical eyebrow. "In a fully rigged battleship?" he asked dubiously, hiding a smirk.

"He could just be paranoid," Charmy mused around a mouthful of pancake. "Or maybe he wanted to play laser tag! Ever think of that?"

There was a startled pause, during which Sonic tried to fathom whether or not the bee was serious. After several awkward seconds, he decided that – yes – Charmy was serious, and concluded that his oddness must be a bee thing. That, or having Tails for a younger brother had spoiled his own perception of how kids were supposed to act...

Perhaps both.

"I can honestly say it never crossed my mind little buddy," he said eventually, thinking better than to argue the point.

The break in conversation must have been too long for Charmy's short attention span however, because before the words had even passed Sonic's lips, Charmy was talking again, changing the subject so abruptly that even the fastest thing alive couldn't keep up.

"You know something?" The question tumbled from Charmy's mouth in a rush, sounding excited and sly all at the same time.

Sonic would wonder, later, why it hadn't occurred to him to be worried at that point. Maybe it was the mood whiplash, or maybe Charmy's youth had lulled him in to a false sense of security... Whatever it was, he didn't pick up on the mischievous aura his companion was giving out until it was already too late.

He hardly had time to reply before Charmy charged on with, "Amy's an _awesome_ girl."

A short pause, then a mildly suspicious, "Oh yeah?"

Sonic was by no means stupid. Perhaps he wasn't up to par with the likes of Tails – few creatures alive today were – but he _knew_ when he could smell a rat. True, he preferred to think with his feet; he was prone to act before considering the consequences, and he rarely (if ever) questioned a person's motives... But he wasn't a fool, and he'd eat his own sneaker if Charmy wasn't up to _something_.

"Yeah!" the bee in question returned enthusiastically, either failing to recognise the suspicion in Sonic's voice for what it was, or simply not caring about it. "She's cute!" He paused a few seconds to gauge the blue hero's reaction. When whatever he'd been hoping to see failed to materialize, he changed tact and instead picked at a thread of Amy's character that he thought might interest Sonic more. "And strong too. She hit me on the head with her hammer when we first met... I was dizzy for weeks! It's okay though – I threw Espio at her and knocked her into the swamp, so we're kinda even."

"She is... uh, _tough_..." Sonic conceded, frowning as he tried to join the dots. It was obvious something was going on here, but for the life of him he just couldn't make the pieces fit together. The worst thing was he could sense it was staring him right in the face, but the concept was so obscure, it kept fluttering out of reach whenever his mind tried to fully grasp it.

"_Way_ tough," the mini-detective agreed, grinning a grin that suddenly made Sonic extremely nervous.

Throat feeling inexplicably dry all of a sudden, he let out a strangled sounding laugh and reached for his drink.

"You should marry her," Charmy said decisively, crossing his arms and nodding sagely. "And have lotsa hedgehog babies," he added, almost as an after thought.

Sonic was – as fate would have it – mid-swig when this particular bomb was dropped on him, a state that had immediate and rather unfortunate consequences for his lungs. Anything he might have said in response to such a statement died before it could reach his lips, as he choked on his orange juice with a mixture of horror and embarrassment.

Charmy, naturally, didn't even notice.

"Baby hedghogs... huh..." he chattered on thoughtfully. " Do ya think they'd be fast like you, or tough like Amy? Oooh, maybe they'd be both! Like some kinda super hedgehogs! What colour would they be? I think they'd be purple, cause if you mix pink and blue you get... hey, you okay Sonic?"

Wishing his drink was a good deal stronger, the blue blur drained the glass hastily to save himself from answering.

If he'd been on the verge of a breakthrough as far as Charmy's intentions were concerned, it was well and truly gone now, replaced by humiliation and discomfort. Imagine! Him and _Amy_! Sure, okay – Amy was an amazing girl. He wouldn't deny it. She was fierce and loyal and brave, and he admired and respected that. He counted himself lucky to have her for a friend.

But she was also clingy, and obsessive, and... and dare he say it, a little _crazy_. Sonic wasn't at all interested in the dating scene, but supposing he was, he doubted he'd be inclined to go down that road. He loved his freedom too much to shackle himself to Amy Rose.

"F-fine," he gasped at last, in answer to Charmy's curious, unwavering stare. "Y'know, I just remembered, I have to – ah..."

He floundered for an excuse, and came up empty. Lying had never been his strong suit.

Oblivious to his discomfiture, Charmy regarded Sonic thoughtfully. By now, the hedgehog was beginning to recognise that – intentional or not – Charmy had a gift for choosing the most awkward and embarrassing topics of conversation. He waited with dread as the bee mulled over his next words, and was almost (_almost_) expecting it when he came out with:

"Sonic, where do baby hedgehogs come from?"

Words cannot describe Sonic's exact mortification at this innocently intended question. It wasn't often he found himself shocked into utter speechlessness, but if ever there was a sure fire way to do it, that was it.

Where was Eggman when you needed him? A catastrophe of some kind would've been a welcome distraction right about then.

"Vector told me about the birds and the bees," Charmy continued cheerfully. "He said the bee gives his honey to the bird and in return the bird gives the bee a baby. But you and Amy are _hedgehogs_. Does it work different?"

"I-I... uh, Ch-Charmy, I don't..." Sonic spluttered.

This wasn't happening. It couldn't possibly be! He was trapped in some kind of nightmare – Eggman had captured him on the air fortress and was torturing him with a bad dream machine or something. It was the _only_ explanation.

The kid seemed disappointed. "You don't know?"

"No! I... I mean I _do_... b-but..." B_ut there's no way _I'm _gonna be the one to tell you._

"Y'know, I never understood why Vector only told me about the birds and the bees," Charmy hummed. He had his arms crossed, that thoughtful look on his face that Sonic was quickly learning to fear. "I thought it was 'cause _I'm_ a bee, but he said the bee gives his honey to the bird and, well, I'm not a _honey_ bee. I'm just a regular ol' bumblebee. I can't make honey!"

Sonic could feel his cheeks redden. It was a thought he'd never had before, but he found himself cursing the fact that his fur didn't cover his face.

"I don't want a baby anyway," he continued. "They're noisy and smelly and annoying. Vector says only adults can make them anyway, so maybe I'll learn how to make honey when I'm older." He cocked his head and Sonic swallowed audibly. "Do _you _want a baby, Sonic? Are you old enough to make a baby yet? Do hedgehogs have to give a bird some honey too? I didn't think hedgehogs could make honey... is it a special kind of honey that everybody can make? Hey Sonic, what do you think... Sonic?"

It was only because he'd thought to ask a direct question (about what Amy's involvement in the whole baby-making process would be) that Charmy even noticed Sonic's absence. Somewhere in amidst the onslaught of questions Sonic had made an escape, putting the super speed he was so famous for to good use. When asked, none of the other patrons of the café could tell Charmy where his prey had gone, and after a cursory search of the city (which lasted all of ten minutes before he grew bored) he decided to call it a day and head back to the office.

Little did he know Sonic was actually in Chun-nan by that time, running his shoes to shreds in the mountains in an attempt to forget the whole affair.

To Vector and Espio's dismay, Charmy showed absolutely no interest in continuing with the mission, stating it was 'too boring'. Duly, they both agreed there was only one course of action available to them at this point.

The next morning, the Chaotix Detective Agency filed a restraining order against Amy Rose.

-X-

**My apologies for the late update, readers. I've had a rather hectic weekend, so I didn't have time to get it ready and posted by Sunday like I usually tend to do.**

**Anyway, I'm kind of 50-50 with this chapter. There are some bits I really like, and some I think could have used tweaking. Usually I would tweak away until I was happy with it, but I'm working on another project just now so I kinda want this one polished off. **

**Speaking of which: ONE CHAPTER LEFT!**

**Also, I wanted to point out – that bit about Amy hitting Charmy with her hammer when they first met? Yeah, I'm referring to the Team Rose Vs Team Chaotix battle in Sonic Heroes (in case it's not obvious already, this story follows the game continuity). Just in case anyone was wondering. **


	5. Chapter 5

Well, her latest plan was a bust.

Just like the plan before, and the one before that, Amy's newest 'Nab Sonic' scheme had fallen flat on it's face. And she'd been so _sure_ it would work! She had literally bet her life-savings on it. And what did she have to show for all her hard earned rings? An expensive disguise that hadn't even worked, and a restraining order.

"What a rip off..." she grumbled, kicking sullenly at the planks beneath her boots.

The park was quiet this morning. Even though it looked like it was going to be a gorgeous day, there was hardly a soul in sight. Too early for most, she supposed. She'd hoped to calm her frustrations with a spot of people-watching, but maybe the lack of foot traffic was all to the good. The murky waters of the canal below were easier to appreciate when you didn't have a crowd jostling at your back, all trying to cross the narrow wooden bridge at the same time...

Yeah. Right.

With a heavy sigh, Amy leaned back against the guardrail and gazed into the cloudless sky.

She should have known the Chaotix were all talk. One hundred percent success rate her butt! Talk about false advertising!

"Well, Amy ol' girl... _Now_ what?" she murmured.

The Chaotix had pretty much been her Ace in the Hole. She'd been saving those rings for a long time, specifically for the purpose of purchasing the (dubious) assistance of Vector, Espio and Charmy. Vector in particular had experience in the arena of love, or so she'd been led to believe, and her faith in their success had been absolute. In hindsight, that had been foolishly optimistic of her. She hadn't considered the variables, the most unpredictable of which was Sonic himself.

_That's my Sonic for you, _she thought with a mixture of despair and adoration. _Fast, strong and devastatingly handsome... but completely oblivious._

Well, all wasn't lost. She still had her good looks and her girlish charm. Maybe she'd just have to be a little more forceful... If memory served, Rouge the Bat had some interesting man-catching tactics. At least, Amy thought she did. She _must_ have – how else would she be able to keep both Knuckles and Shadow hanging on the way she did?

Luckily for Sonic – and he'd never know exactly _how_ lucky – it was as Amy was trying to remember Rouge's current whereabouts that he happened upon her thoughtful form that morning. Though still thoroughly shaken by Charmy's 'baby hedgehog' talk, the blue blur didn't hesitate to call out a friendly greeting; after all, he thought, it wasn't _her_ fault the Chaotix had gone totally insane, right?

"Hey Amy!" he waved, startling her from her reverie. "Whatcha doin'?"

"S-Sonic!" Even startled as she was, Amy couldn't stop the grin that stretched her lips as she turned to see her long-time crush jog easily towards her. She just couldn't help herself! Even the most casual of exchanges had always been enough to make her smile like a fool around him. "Hey! I'm... uh... just enjoying a morning walk."

It was mostly true. She hadn't exactly been 'enjoying' it, per se, but Amy was sure that would change now that Sonic was on the scene.

"What a coincidence," Sonic grinned. "I was just enjoying a morning _run_. Wanna grab some breakfast?"

Her heart started pounding double time. Could it be true? Was she dreaming? Or was Sonic _really_ inviting her to spend some time with him?

Of course, she jumped at the chance. Whether it be reality or just a wonderful dream, there was _no way_ Amy was about to miss a chance like this one. Where her precious Sonic was concerned, every moment was a treasure.

They set off together through the park, Sonic – for once – setting a pace that she could easily keep up with. They talked about little things, like what a nice day it was, and what their plans were for the week, and how their friends were doing. On the subject of friends, Amy told Sonic about Cream's growing fondness for technology, a peculiarity she theorised had a lot to do with a certain twin-tailed fox they both knew. Sonic then smilingly reported Tails' corresponding bafflement over the rabbit's more frequent visits, completely missing the significance (much to Amy's exasperation).

By the time they reached the food van the air had warmed considerably, and despite the still-early hour, Amy ordered a strawberry ice cream.

"That'll be fifty rings, please," the vendor said, holding out a hand for the money.

Amy fumbled for the rings in her pocket, carefully balancing the cone in her right hand.

"Here," Sonic grinned, moving ahead of her. "I'll get it. Two chilli dogs, please."

With their respective 'breakfasts' paid for, the pair wandered to a nearby bench. Picking up the conversation where they'd left off, Amy tried to explain what was so important about Cream's new-found interest.

"So, what you're saying is Cream _doesn't_ like machines like she says she does," Sonic repeated, licking a stray dollop of chilli from his hand.

"That's right."

"You think it's Tails she likes?"

"I'm _sure_ of it."

Sonic shrugged. "What's wrong with that?"

Amy slapped a hand to her forehead. He clearly didn't get it.

"Nothing," she sighed, deciding it was time to cut her losses. Matters of love were obviously a foreign language to Sonic. "There's nothing wrong with it at all."

Blinking guilelessly, Sonic asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

She smiled beatifically, shaking her head, and dismissed his query with a casual wave of her hand. He asked again, and once more after that, but when Amy refused to be drawn into the conversation again, he dropped the topic without complaint.

They'd been sitting a while – Amy unwilling to lose even a second with her hero, Sonic too full to resume his run just yet – when the blue blur remembered something Vector had said to him three days ago.

"Amy?"

"Mm?" the pink hedgehog hummed, swinging her legs back and forth as she perched daintily on the bench.

"I was wonderin'... Do _you_ know anything about technology?" Sonic asked curiously.

"_Me_?" Amy frowned, looking up. "Um... no, not really. I mean I can work a TV, and a microwave and stuff... y'know, the basics. But short of that..."

"Huh."

"Why'd you ask?"

"Just somethin' Vector said to me the other day," Sonic shrugged. "He was going on about you, and something about motors and pedals... I think he takes you for a mechanic, Ames!"

Amy, who of course knew what Vector was _supposed_ to have been talking about, was puzzled. Pedals? Motors? Well, no wonder they'd failed the assignment! Vector hadn't even been talking about the right thing!

"That's... weird." Maybe she should ask for her money back.

"Yeah, right?" Sonic crossed his arms, cocking his head to the side. "In fact, all the Chaotix have been acting weird lately. Well, except maybe Charmy... I think he's always like that..."

He cast a sideways glance at Amy, then immediately looked away. She didn't miss how his cheeks took on a slightly rosy glow, but it was gone again so quickly that she had to wonder if she'd really seen it at all.

Clearing his throat, Sonic stood and stretched languorously. "Well, I'd better get going."

Amy felt her heart deflate a little. "Already?" she asked, disappointed.

They'd been together for a good chunk of the morning, but it seemed to her that no matter how much time she spent with Sonic, it was never enough. Worse, simply by virtue of his free-spirited nature, she knew it would be a while before they were together like this again. The months ahead would be spent chasing after him, like always, and she'd constantly be three steps behind, _like always_. It was a bleak prospect to say the least.

"Yeah," he replied, starting to jog lightly in place. "Places to go, people to see... You know how it is."

"Yeah... A hedgehog's work is never done, right?" She tried not to sound too disheartened.

The truth was, Amy was getting a little tired of all the chasing. Oh, she wasn't going to give up – Sonic was worth any effort in her opinion – but maybe a break was in order. She could stay behind this time... take that advanced cookery class she'd been reading about...

And maybe, if she asked nicely...

"Right!" Sonic agreed, giving her a thumbs-up. "But hey, I had fun today. See ya around?"

"Huh? Um... sure." She hadn't really been listening – she'd been too busy hatching a new plan. The idea was delicious in it's simplicity, so basic, that Amy couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before. "Say, Sonic...?"

"Mm?"

"Would you... uh, that is we could do this again, some time... if- if you want," she mumbled shyly. "I've been learning to cook, so..."

She didn't expect him to agree, at least not right away. Her plan was to lure him in with food, and once he learned how good a cook she was... well, he might visit more often.

To her surprise, Sonic agreed readily.

"Yeah, sounds good to me. Next week?"

"S-Sure! I mean... yeah, that would be great!" Reminding herself that next week wasn't here yet, Amy forced herself to curb her excitement. A lot could happen in a week, especially where Sonic the Hedgehog was concerned. "Home made chilli dogs sound good?"

An obvious ploy perhaps, but there was nothing wrong with sweetening the deal a little, right?

"Sounds awesome, Ames. I'll be there," he smiled. Then, with a cheerful wave, Sonic took to the tarmac, racing – as ever – towards his next big adventure.

Amy watched him go, wondering now more than ever if it was all just a dream. If it was, she never wanted to wake from it.

As she ambled slowly through the park, hardly able to believe the events of the morning, Amy remembered her earlier, less than amicable thoughts regarding the Chaotix. Where did she stand with them now, she wondered. Technically, she had a date with Sonic just like she'd wanted... And one that he'd fully agreed to no less! Was that thanks to the Chaotix? Or was it just sheer coincidence?

Personally, given what Sonic had told her earlier, she was leaning towards the latter.

"Ah well," she shrugged, beaming with pent up joy. "I'll let them keep the money anyway. After all, I got what I wanted."

Little did Amy know that the trio of detectives had already spent what remained of her deposit on a much deserved holiday to Mazuri. If she _had_ chanced by the Agency in search of her rings, she'd have found the office abandoned, the only clue as to their whereabouts a single sign in the window with the dubious legend '_In Recovery' _scrawled in big, hasty letters.

-X-

**And that's it for this story folks. I've enjoyed writing it, but to be honest, I'm glad it's done – it was standing in the way of several other projects that are all vying for my attention. **

**Thanks to all who have read, reviewed etc – you're the people who make writing worthwhile. I know I don't always answer reviews due to time constraints and sheer forgetfulness, but I hope you all know how much I truly appreciate them.**


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